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Should I Go Back.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Terry Wilson, Aug 11, 2018.

  1. Terry Wilson

    Terry Wilson Well-Known Member

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    Many of you will know from my other posts of the wonderful first walk both mentally and spiritually last Aug, then the walk this April with a group of people that turned into a train wreck. I have been told to go back right now like this week or so and walk it again. I have been told this by my Wife. also my councilor (yep) thats what I said and most of my friends that I have confided in about this. They all say go back and reconnect. The fact that I live in New Zealand makes it harder with all the travel .
    SO WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK.I am serious about this I value the advice from this forum so much.
    Do I go back.
    Please dont sit on the fence on this thats my job at the moment.
     
  2. Canadian Wander

    Canadian Wander When in doubt, rack out...

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    Yes, 100% believe that you should never walk away (pun?) from a thought that is nagging at you. I think you would reconnect with the many positives I remember you describing from your first walk. Don't let a negative stand in the way. Not doing it will nag at your soul like a splint, fester and pain you, and cause heartache for those that care for you watching you ponder.
    Your wife said go.....who knows better than a wife?
     
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  3. Canadian Wander

    Canadian Wander When in doubt, rack out...

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    And for my wife and I...20 days and counting for Portugal!
     
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  4. davebugg

    davebugg DustOff: "When I Have Your Wounded"

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    Each Camino is unique and varied. There is no guarantee that this time around will be like your first pilgrimage; it could be like the last one. You have no control of how the Camino unfolds, you only have control of how you react or respond. Knowing this, how will you deal with it being less than what you hope it will be? Will that make things worse for you?
     
  5. UnkleHammy

    UnkleHammy Well-Known Member

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    You seem to have been hurt from your most recdnt walk. It may be a bad idea to recall the painfull part of the CF by walkjng it again. To help dulling out your unhappy experience it may be appropriate to walk a different path. You might try the Camino Portuguese this time. It is different and shorter than the CF which may be a good idea in getting a spiritual experience for this recovery walk.
     
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  6. hindsfeet

    hindsfeet Collect moments, not things Donating Member

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    Terry, my friend.....you have been pretty transparent with situations in your life. Many of us have celebrated with you on taking your first adventure on the Camino. And "bravo" at that. I understand that the second time out didn't turn out like you expected. We all know too well that life sometimes HAPPENS when you are planning something else.
    I cannot remember where I read this, but it stated that ONE OF THE SCARIEST THINGS IN THE WORLD IS THAT OTHER PEOPLE CAN MAKE LIFE-CHANGING DECISIONS FOR YOU.
    So Terry....stop.....be still, you have the power within you to decide if returning to the Camino is the right thing for YOU. Trust your own heart. Besides, you won't be going it alone......remember you found two friends the last time out!!! :D :D
     
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  7. RJS

    RJS Well-Known Member

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    My advice is to Definitely Go Back and walk another Camino – But NOT to look for the same experiences that you found in your first Camino – This is because, in my view, you can never go back – And to be honest, never should.

    Therefore, If it were me, I would start off by choosing a new Camino Route – You have plenty to choose from and selecting your new route will all be part of your New Camino Experience, and it should also give you separation from the Old Bad Camino Experience that you had last time.

    Life is in now and in the future, we can neither change the past, nor can we relive it, but we can learn from it :)



    Good Luck and Buen Camino

    Rob
     
  8. Bryan Morlock

    Bryan Morlock Pilgrim Bryan

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    You don't provide details as to what the "train wreck" was. It could be individuals in your group, situations the group experienced, etc. but it really doesn't matter. A next Camino will be a completely new experience. You can take steps along the way (arrangements, reservations, etc) which can reduce Less desirable situations for you, but it all comes down to you. You can only control yourself and how you react to situations, conditions, and people. We used the phrase "it is what it is" quite a bit to keep our mind off the situation and keep our focus on moving forward. Doing another Camino will be its own unique experience, however it turns out. The first step is to get your mind focused on doing a Camino and off the last Camino. The last Camino should not play a part other than the experience teaching you what to do differently or better. Buen Camino.
     
  9. Wily

    Wily Francés 2016; Portugués 2017; Inglés/Fisterra 2018

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    Hey Terry - I really liked the advice offered by Davebugg. There is no guarantee that you’re going to recreate your first Camino experience. In fact, it might be a mistake to head back to Spain too quickly or with that intention. Your last experience was as you put it, “a train wreck.” Accept it as an important learning experience which in no way diminishes what you gained from your first Camino. Don’t let the latter experience overshadow the positives from your first trip and the value of having walked a spiritually meaningful Camino. Build upon that experience now and use it as a guide for your life and activities at home. When or if it is right to walk again, you’ll know it. Believe that there was a purpose for that “train wreck” you experienced which too is part of The Way. Buen Camino.
     
  10. Dave2525

    Dave2525 New Member

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    Reconnect....with what? yourself. There are so many different and unique things to do in the world. Why not try one of them?
     
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  11. danvo

    danvo Super Moderator Staff Member

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    Terry, you wrote about two old friends in your life in another thread. Your decision to go Camino or not is only between you, your "old friend" and your wife. Listen to your heart, pray for it... And if the result of that listening, praying and communicating with your wife will be: Go again, (now) then simply go. It will be good, and you will see, that money are not problem and that nothing is more important than you...
     
  12. raymond john

    raymond john Well-Known Member

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    Terry
    Without a doubt you should return and walk another camino, this is all part of your camino journey you started in 2017. It will be full of a completely new and exciting experiences for you, the fact your last camino was a" train Wreck" is all part of your journey. I'm sure there were a lot of positives if you look for them, hence your desire to return for example. The encouragement you received from your Wife /Family / Friends, and all the post's of support and wisdom from various members of the forum. They are all sending you a strong message GO THE DISTANCE. Its a quote from the Kevin Costner film "Field of Dreams" . If you havn't seen this film, its a must see and is available on Amazon.

    Remember, its not an if, but when are going to complete your destiny and walk another camino

    Carpe Diem & Ultreya

    Raymond John
     
  13. Terry Wilson

    Terry Wilson Well-Known Member

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    Thank you Danvo that is such a nice reply.
     
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  14. Greg Canning

    Greg Canning Well-Known Member

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    Hi Terry

    I think you have received a lot of great advice already, particularly from Davebugg, Wily and Hindsfeet. The decision must be entirely yours. My wife and I are doing the Camino Frances in sections (hoping to finish this year) and each time we have gone back it has been a different experience. I wouldn't say better or worse just different.

    I will never forget our first day over the Pyrenees, or arriving in Pamplona, or starting from Pamplona on our second Camino, or arriving in Burgos or Leon on different legs. The majesty of the mountains, the quiet of the Meseta, the beauty of the sunrises, the unmerciful heat, the long dusty roman roads. All different, all challenging in different ways but always rewarding.

    So I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's probably best not to expect the same experience but you can depend on having an enriching experience. Take your time and figure out what it is you want/need.

    Buen Camino

    Greg
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2018
  15. Terry Wilson

    Terry Wilson Well-Known Member

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    Thank you Greg and all of you for the advice I have decided not to go YET . But my wife and I are going to the USA and will look up a chap I walked with for a while on the first walk. And he has made comment of the Portuguese way in 2020. Well why not I say. Some of my decision not to go is based on what you all have said. Not what you have said but how you said it . It was very healing. Thank you.
    God bless you all
     
  16. UnkleHammy

    UnkleHammy Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the feed back, may all go well with you.
     
  17. hindsfeet

    hindsfeet Collect moments, not things Donating Member

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    Terry.......heading to the states? If you and your wife are near Phoenix....well, let me know!!!
     
  18. Kennyt

    Kennyt New Member

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    yes you must go back and find the real Camino once more,,,
     
  19. Terry Wilson

    Terry Wilson Well-Known Member

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    Yes we are heading that way to meet up with a chap I walked with for about half of the camino a Larry Milliken it looks like we are going to spend some time with them around Grand Cannon about end of aug,
     
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  20. UnkleHammy

    UnkleHammy Well-Known Member

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    @Terry Wilson if you get near Fresno let me know. I can take you on a day trip to Kings canyon or Yosemite. They are both close.
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2018
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  21. Crepes4Suzette

    Crepes4Suzette Well-Known Member

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    Bom Caminho to you both! Not long now:0))
     
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  22. hindsfeet

    hindsfeet Collect moments, not things Donating Member

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    The Grand Canyon will be awesome. It is about a 4 hr. drive north from me.
     
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  23. Canadian Wander

    Canadian Wander When in doubt, rack out...

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    Thanks C4S! Can't wait.
     
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  24. Terry Wilson

    Terry Wilson Well-Known Member

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    It is so nice to see you on board get into it comment on any thing you see. You will find you will be accepted in to the family strait off . I value your input. If you are thinking of walking. Just do it it could change your life.
    My first Camino did change my life. The second was with other people that did things that were out of my control. I have decided not to go back at this stage BUT I WILL BE BACK. . For all readers I thank you all for the support. the Camino is a very special place there is something going on with the Camino that I and I suggest a lot of others cant put our finger on it
     
  25. Maya Grandmother

    Maya Grandmother Active Member

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    Should I go back...a decision that I have contemplating for awhile. My husband and I walked the camino Francés in April/May 2015 and many of you know that he collapsed and died at the age of 63, exactly a year later. I was left with a huge heartache and 2 beautiful photoalbums of our time spent on our trek, that he was able to finish before his passing. I have been following this blog since October 2014 and am forever grateful for this read. For a long time time I have wanted to return but do not know if seeing the same bench, same albergue or same mountain would be comforting or more heartbreak. I agree with RJS's advice on choosing another camino route to give me a new camino experience and keep the memories of my prior camino with my husband separate. Reading your comments gives me inspiration. Thanks for this thread, Terry. I am not sure what to tell you except to follow your heart, this is what I intend to do.
     
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  26. Terry Wilson

    Terry Wilson Well-Known Member

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    Hello Maya if it was up to me alone I would be back there tomorrow but I have discovered that it is not that simple, It should be!. So I am planning to walk the Portuguese way in about three years if I am able.
    I will give you a suggestion I do not wish to give you pressure to go in any way.
    I got a small wooden cross from a man making them on the side of the track. I think it is called a tahuo cross shaped like a T it is quite small it is very special to me . I wear it around my neck.
    If you decide to go whatever route let me know if this was OK with you I would send you my cross to take with you then send it back. Then we could both get healing. I live in New Zealand I would pay the postage.God bless.
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2018
  27. raymond john

    raymond john Well-Known Member

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    Greg
    In your post to Terry you mentioned you were going back this year to complete your camino. Im not sure when you plan to go, Sept/ Oct ? Im going to be in Rabanal de Camino from 13th Oct- 1st Nov working as a volunteer Hospitlero in our (CSJ) Albergue Gaucelmo located by the church and Monastery.
    So, if you are passing by knock on the door if we are not open and pop in for a dink we will be please to see you. Every day between 16:00- 17:00 we always serve Tea/Cake/ Biscuits in the garden or courtyard depending on the weather
    I remember watching your video walking over the Pyrenees on your 1st day in early Jan 16, i think it was raining some of the time. You will enjoy walking in Galicia, when the weather is fine and the sun is out. In the mornings the valleys are full of mist, you feel your walking on top of the world

    Beun Camino & Carpe Diem


    Raymond John
     
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  28. Greg Canning

    Greg Canning Well-Known Member

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    Hi Raymond John

    Thank you for your very kind invitation. Unfortunately we will be starting in Triacastella this time (we finished there in April). We did get to stop at Rabanal and visited the lovely little church on our way through in April. It was indeed a lovely place.

    Good for you in volunteering. I hope you have a lovely time.

    Buen Camino

    Greg
     
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  29. Wily

    Wily Francés 2016; Portugués 2017; Inglés/Fisterra 2018

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    Hey Greg - Do you know your travel dates yet? I bet you guys can’t wait to finish up in Santiago. I hope it’s as inspiring for you as been for me each time I’ve been there. Unfortunately, although I will be over there possibly when you are, I won’t be in Galicia this time. So, enjoy your last leg of this Camino and then it’ll be time to start planning your next one. Buen Camino Peregino!
     
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  30. Greg Canning

    Greg Canning Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Wily

    I just booked our flights today. We fly into Madrid on Friday 28 September. I'm hoping to get to Triacastella that day. Train from Madrid to Sarria and then bus or more likely taxi to Triacastella. We then start walking on Saturday, aiming to reach Santiago by Thursday. That will give us almost two days in Santiago. I've retired so have plenty of time but my wife is till working so her time is limited.

    Flights out of Santiago and hotels there are in short supply and expensive so I've reserved a hotel there already. The Hotel Palacio del Carmen.

    As we are flying out to Miami next Thursday and not returning until 18 September so I'm trying to squeeze all my organising into this week :) At the moment this is my planned itinerary:-

    Triacastela - Sarria
    Sarria - Portomarín
    Portomarín - Palas de Rei
    Palas de Rei - Ribadiso da Baixo
    Ribadiso da Baixo - O Pedrou
    O Pedroouza - Santiago de Compostela

    Any suggestions re the itinerary or places to stay will, as always be gratefully received.

    Thanks and Buen Camino

    Greg

    PS where are your perambulations taking you this time?
     
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